SELF-ARCHEOLOGY

Today, I saw this picture on Facebook saying, “When a child gives you a gift, even if it’s a rock they just picked up, exude gratitude. It might be the only thing they have to give, and they have chosen to give it to you.” This got me thinking about how parents forget to show or decide not to show, or just don’t feel gratitude and appreciation to their child. I remember one instance from my own childhood…. When I was little, on various holidays, days like my mother’s birthday or Mother’s Day, I gave my mother hand-made gifts: drawings, cutouts, or similar things children make. And on my own birthdays or holidays like Christmas I didn’t always get what I wanted. One time I wanted something specific for one of these occasions. I don’t remember what my wish was, but I didn’t get it. My mother gave me something else. I was very, very sad and disappointed that I didn't get what desired. I expressed my sadness and disappointment to my mother. And she replied by saying something l...

Why do people think they had a good, normal childhood, or deny childhood trauma and its results altogether? I often hear people say things like: My childhood was normal.  Yes, there were some good things and some bad things – but that's life. My mother got sad, distant, or angry when I didn't perform well or acted badly, and my father sometimes hit me with a belt – but it was for my own good. All of this helped me to become a better person – and I'm thankful for it.  Yes, sometimes I feel depressed, very lonely, or empty – but we all feel like that.  My parents were strict, but they loved me and I turned out fine.  Yes, some people experienced a lot of abuse growing up, but I was never traumatized, and I don't have any inner wounds. I look at people, and I can very easily see the symptoms of childhood trauma. I see children being abused, and I see grownups with numerous inner wounds that resulted from being traumatized. It’s obvious to me. I see c...

This is my newest video on how children learn to discriminate and to have prejudices. It was blocked on YouTube so I uploaded it on Dailymotion. The Origins of Discrimination by selfarcheology

As you can tell from the title of this blog post, it will be a more personal one. Yesterday I visited my grandparents’ town where I spent a lot of time in my childhood and adolescence. I haven’t been there for about 4 years. I walked around for about 30-40 minutes. A lot has changed – renovations, new buildings, new people. It’s a very small town, so I was able to visit a lot of familiar places. I experienced a shroud of memories and a wide range of emotions. My memories were both pleasant and unpleasant – and I felt them in my mind and in my body. Emotionally, I felt great sadness, grief, nostalgia, child-like worrylessness, relief, loneliness, hurt, fear…. And because now I know how to soak my memories and emotions in, without them overwhelming me and without me blocking them, I just let in the thoughts that came up, and let myself feel whatever emotions followed those thoughts. Since I didn’t have my journal with me (or its substitute, like iPad), I recorded an audio log on ...