Showing posts from January, 2021

6 Signs of Controlling Parenting and Why It's Harmful

There are different styles of child rearing and, unfortunately, the controlling style is one of the most prevalent. Here, instead of gently guiding the child’s authentic self, the parent tries to make and mold the child into whatever they think the child should be.  As the term implies, the core indication of controlling parenting is a controlling approach towards the child. The controlling parenting style is sometimes also called authoritarian or helicopter parenting , and this is because the parent is acting in an authoritarian manner or is hovering over the child and controlling their every move. The methods used to implement it involve violating the child’s boundaries or not meeting the child’s true needs. Signs of the Controlling Parenting Style 1. Unrealistic expectations and doomed to fail scenarios  The child is expected to meet irrational, unhealthy, or simply unattainable standards, and is punished if and when they don’t. For example, your father tells you to do something bu

The Effects of Trauma from “Growing up Too Fast”

One of the most common euphemisms and justifications for a certain type of childhood trauma is “growing up too fast.” It is a euphemism because it is used to minimize the pain that the person felt as a child when their needs weren’t being met by describing it in seemingly neutral or even positive language. It’s a justification because it is often used to argue that growing up faster and becoming “mature beyond your years” is indeed a good thing. We will explore and address all of this here. The Origins and the Mechanism What is frequently called “growing up too fast” or “being mature beyond your years” is simply neglect and abuse. Many children grow up in an environment where they are neglected and abused in such ways that they become “little adults” who, not only can take care of themselves better or are wiser than others, but also take care of their parents, siblings, or other family members. Its origins can be summarized in two main points. One, it happens because parents attribute