Showing posts from March, 2016

Q&A: Should I Talk to My Parents About My Childhood Hurts?

This is the first entry in the new series, "Self-Archeology Q&A," where I answer a question or respond to a comment. The first question I want to tackle today is a very common one. I’ve gotten this question from a substantial amount of people, and I have observed many struggling with it, so I will share my thoughts on it in a form of a structured article in hope that it will be useful to more people. Question: Should I, as an adult, talk to my caregiver* about my hurtful and otherwise problematic childhood experiences? Answer: First, it is worth noting that the question itself is formulated incorrectly—not from a grammatical but from a psychological perspective. The word 'should,' by definition, indicates an obligation, a lack of choice. You are not obligated to talk to your caregivers about anything, nor you are forced to do so. You can if you want to —but there is no should here. I’m not going to talk about the argument why this is the case in great de

Self-Archeological Conversations #3: Black & White Thinking - Podcast

In this episode of Self-Archeological Conversations, Darius and Jackie talk about black and white thinking, its origins, and how it manifests in one's personal and social life. The hosts explore how this psychological phenomenon is related to family roles, to repetition compulsion, and to projection in one's adult life. It is also examined how it is connected to idealization or vilification of perceived heroes, idols, celebrities, enthusiasts, and helpers, to individualism versus tribalism, and to a general lack of a healthier perspective.