SELF-ARCHEOLOGY

It is highly recommended to read Part 1 and Part 2 before reading the following. We’ve already established why and how disconnected people react when in confrontation with reality, and that in order to remain in denial and disconnection one has to ignore trauma and silence reason—that of other people and in themselves. Here, I will talk about the personal and social effects of being a voice of reason. There are both negative and positive consequences related to being a voice of reason in our society. The negatives: 1. Social outrage. If you decide to be principled and to have high integrity, you see that most people don’t objectively see reality. If you share your insight and stand up for what is objectively right, some of those people will get upset and try to silence you. Remember, in their eyes, the problem is not the horrors and injustices of reality that you are describing, but rather the problem is YOU describing it because you are challenging their denial and delusio...

In the first part , I talked about many people’s tendency to silence the voice of reason—in themselves and in others—and the psychological mechanisms behind it. Here, I will talk about principled versus unprincipled thinking and its consequences. To be able to conceptualize reality accurately, a person has to have rational, clear, sound, and consistent principles and values. Failure to do so leads to, among other things, confusion and delusion. One would think that a human being would want to aim to be as principled and virtuous as possible. Ideally, yes. However, if a person’s true feelings, thoughts, and experiences are silenced from childhood, they don’t learn to have rational principles (as talked about in part one), because it’s actually dangerous to have principles and integrity when you are small and dependent. This deep fear usually carries out into one’s adulthood, so a person, who is now an adult, is trained not to have principles and to have a strong reaction to a voice of...

“Don't conceptualize reality as it is!” In this series of articles, I will talk about people’s avoidance of reality, and about personal and social outrage when encountering a voice of reason. In the first part that is this article, I will explain the origins of a person’s unreasonable reaction to describing reality and the mechanism behind this phenomenon. I will also talk about the social outcomes of openly describing the unpleasant aspects of reality, especially child mistreatment. All of us have probably been in a situation where we saw something and we’ve tried to describe or address it, but we were quickly shut down or realized it is not allowed to do so. If all of our memories were accessible to our conscious mind, most likely we would see that it started very early. Children are born rational and smart, in a sense that initially they try to experience and describe reality as it is. Sadly, in childhood and adolescence many of us are not allowed to describe reality corr...

The second episode of our podcast is here! In it, I and my co-host Jackie talk about the concepts of hope, passivity (self-)responsibility, boundaries, and more. Get cozy and join us for an hour of self-archeology.

So, a few weeks ago, we recorded a podcast, which probably will become a regular thing. In the first episode of Self-Archeological Conversations, I and my lovely co-host Jackie share our thoughts and experiences on ageism, first impressions, preconceived notions, and the value of estimating people objectively. So grab a cup of your preferred beverage and let's settle in for an hour of self-archeology!

Yesterday, I published and article called How NOT to Raise a Boy to Respect Women, Himself, or Anybody – The Nikkole Pauluns of the World . In it, I describe the reality of child abuse and it's consequences, and reflect on how it is often approved in our culture. When I talk about these topics, I often get emails and comments from people who are grateful that I am able to describe and explain it clearly. But sometimes I receive responses from people who get triggered, confused, or internally challenged, where they get upset with me and try to express it by acting out on me instead of self-reflecting and trying to resolve the internal conflicts, confusion, and trauma they have. Today, I once again woke up to one of those emails in regard to my yesterday's article. The person writes [sic]: Hi Darius, İ ve been following you for awhile now. İ work on " identity oriented Psychotraumatology" By "finding your true self thru the words of the sentence of your i...

Contrary to some people’s expectation, this article will not be a jolly, ho-ho-holiday read, despite it having both "holiday" and "hope" in its title. It will be about the reality of how a lot of people perceive holidays and their life in general, and about a possible alternative to that. As some of you may or may not have observed, many people live a lost, confusing, unconscious, and unhappy life. One of the manifestations of this phenomenon is that they live from one event or happening to another. Halloween is coming! I better get those decorations and candy ready! Aaaand it’s gone—but Christmas is next! Family time, gifts, Jesus, and songs! Aaaand it’s gone—but New Year is next! Aaaand it’s gone—but my birthday is next! Your friend John’s birthday; a new Star Wars movie, a new Fallout video game; NBA playoffs; Black Friday, a new episode of Game of Thrones, a weekend, etc. Don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful to feel excited, and some of those things can provide ...