SELF-ARCHEOLOGY

Perfectionism is one the most widespread  tendencies people suffer from, and it is nearly always a consequence of a dysfunctional childhood environment. In this environment, the individual was overly controlled and abused in other ways, and such a person was, among other things, expected to meet unrealistic standards, to be flawless, and was actively or passively punished for doing anything the caregiver disapproved of, and didn’t receive enough genuine love and attention. Over many years, this conditions the child to be terrified of errors or of even being perceived as imperfect.  Such a person’s caregivers usually, but not always, possess strong narcissistic traits where they either won’t or can’t see the child as a separate, self-interested human being; they child is perceived as an extension of themselves or someone who’s only here to meet their needs. The child was told what to do, what to feel, what to think, and consequently, were unable to develop a strong sense of sel...

People who have strong narcissistic tendencies and other toxic people are known for their manipulation tactics. Some of them are consciously cunning and deceiving. While others are more primitive and blunt in their disturbing behaviors. Whatever the case may be, such people tend to project heavily, not take responsibility for their actions, blame others, and use gaslighting. Here are some of the things abusers and toxic people say to their victims, and what it means: It’s for your own good. Meaning, you should be grateful, not upset. You’re too sensitive. Meaning, your reaction to my toxicity is unreasonable. It’s your fault. Meaning, I did nothing wrong here; it’s you. You deserve it. Meaning, you are deserving of being mistreated. Don’t be so dramatic. Meaning, you’re overreacting and instigating conflict. You are so cold, cruel, and lack forgiveness. Meaning, you shouldn’t hold me responsible for my hurtful and manipulative behavior. You made me do it. Meaning, you are respon...

All of us have probably heard this saying at some point in our lives: blood is thicker than water. When people say that, they usually mean that family is the most important thing, or that a person’s relationship with their family members is more important than any other relationship that they may have.  But is it true? By what logic? And compared to what standard? These are the questions that we will try to explore in this article. What Does It Mean? There is no doubt that our caregivers are the people we have spent the most time with. So they are, indeed, the closest people we know, both historically and geographically. However, it doesn’t mean that these are the people who we have the deepest, healthiest or most meaningful relationship with.  It doesn’t even mean that the relationship is good. Actually, it can be pretty bad, and the people in it are either unaware or even ignorant that this is the case. Yet, if they believe that family is above everything else, then they hav...