SELF-ARCHEOLOGY

QUESTION How does our mind “create” problems like anxiety, depression, bulimia, anorexia? ANSWER In order to manage unpleasant feelings or threatening environments our body and mind develops certain beliefs, reactions, and behaviors. Some of them, like you mentioned, are chronic or acute anxiety, depression, eating disorders, self-mutilation, abusive behavior, and many others. The origins of it can be traced back to a person’s early development and formative years, but some of it can develop or intensify in later life. Human beings are mainly shaped by their environment. We learn to adapt to it and develop certain traits, characteristics, and behaviors to survive better in whatever environment we are in. Some of those strategies and reactions are unhealthy and counterproductive, if you look at it from a completely objective, detached, or myopic perspective. Of course cutting your own body with a razor blade until you bleed, or vomiting out your food, or feeling and acting help...

QUESTION The longer I know someone, the more anxious I feel around them. Why is that? ANSWER It is hard to say for sure without knowing a person’s history and the particular situation they are in. Based on my personal and professional experience, someone who feels increasingly anxious around others is afraid of the relationship becoming more close and more intimate. Not necessarily in a romantic or sexual way (although it can definitely be that, too), but just knowing each other better, being more vulnerable, and so on. Now why is that? Generally, I see two cases: one , the person is afraid of building an intimate, caring, loving bond with someone, and two , they are scared of others exploiting and deliberately hurting them. Sometimes it is a combination of both. In the first scenario , the person is not used to healthy intimacy and has trust issues. They may not know how to have mutual respect, reciprocity, and power equality—or even what it looks like. They also may not kno...